长不大的女孩

These few days, i've been feeling discontentment and... a mixture of frustration and anger.

At... certain people.  And at myself.

I get discontented when i realize i'm not up to expectations, or when i can't have a say in class, because the lecturer happens to prefer non-local students to speak up.  Its like when non-local students speak they're gold, and when local students speak we have no brains.

whatever.

maybe because its the final sem, i really wanna do more.  i don't wanna take the limelight and centre of attention, i only want to be heard.

i don't like it that i have to nod when i mean to shake.
i don't like it that i say yes when i mean no.
i don't like it that i bite my tongue when i mean to retort.

was in the nadir of discontentment, when Pst A.R. Bernard's voice rang into my head.

"Sometimes in the process of getting something that we don't have, we actually give up what we have."

yeah.

in times like these, i really rely on a lot of 人生道理 to calm myself.